she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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