i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
