Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
