I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
