bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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