im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
