Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
