guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
