i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
