To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
you guys were way drunker than both of me
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
