eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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