The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
