Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
