and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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