Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
