i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
