I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
