real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I accidentally had phone sex last night
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Is it penis luge time yet?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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