well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
