guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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