It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
