ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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