I think I just saw someone hide a body.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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