i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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