Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
