party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
