Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
