I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I think a kid would responsible me up
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
