I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Randomize
