im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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