I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
