he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Randomize
