NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
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