I accidentally had phone sex last night
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Drake has all the answers
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
