can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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