He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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