If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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