My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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