Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
