me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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