I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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