Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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