Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
