it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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