i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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