I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
