He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
