Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
