You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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