I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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