Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
