They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
