I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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