You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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